Every time I here her name I get taken back to the Train

^I should so be a lyricist with a title like that ^

It is honest and from my heart, so sorry to everyone this is another diary entry.

She meant everything to me, and I would have given her the world, I loved her. Fact is she’s the only girl I have completely loved, with no doubts or wandering eyes, oh no wait, I DID. I curse myself everyday for a train journey with a "friend". I should never have done it I had got all gifts and everything ready for her birthday, but I thought one more trip wouldn't do any harm. It ended up hurting someone who I would happily give my life for. 

It can be the simplest thing that reminds me of her. For instance this Christmas an I'm a celebrity board game was in the shop, it reminded me of being on the phone to her and us both having to be quiet as our mums were watching it, it would be the best hour of the day, both of us in total bliss because of each others voice.
  There is also her identical twin at my school, well not really but they are spitting images, it reminds me of how lucky I was, to have someone not only flawless, but kind too. 
 Then there's

Coronation Street

simply because her mum looks like Kym Marsh. 
The killer is when people ask me are you over her, in my heart of hearts ... no. But at the same time I'm ready to let go. 

I have met someone, which makes me feel exactly the same, unfortunately she’s now taken, and I blew my chance. I would let go of the first for her. She can teach me. I just need to win the tally chart. 

I MISS open goals

Sometimes I will miss an open goal, but more so in life.

So what more do you want at 16, all you really need is football, money, beer and someone to be there for you like a girlfriend. All of which I had, you ask yourself so how did you screw this one up?

well she was a lovely, beautiful girlfriend she agreed with me on most things and would never think of batting an eyelid at any other boy in more than a joking way. But that was it I got bored, it was great being able to see her whenever I wanted and seeing her rather attractive mum. However there was no fire, no fiery arguments and consequential making up methods, and therefore temptation got a hold of me and forced me to, cheat. All females that were reading please continue to do so we are not all that bad. I cheated with a lifelong friend (yes a life long friend at 16, OK, well more on and off girlfriend, person). I felt terrible she was and still is the best girlfriend I have had, I told a few of my close friends and there solution was to tell her the truth and therefore hear it from me first rather than rumours. I eventually did this and well we are no longer together. Adele's album features a song called "someone like you", this song just reminds me of her every word of what we could of had, this also has some relevance to her other song "rolling in the deep" only I'm the one that hand her heart in my hand, which I stupidly squashed. SO THANKS ADELE FOR GIVING ME A GUILTY CONSCIOUS !  GOAL DEFINANTLY MISSED

(IF YOU KNOW WHO I AM ON ABOUT DO NOT SAY ANYTHING I’M USING THIS LIKE A DIARY, thank you)

I got over her, eventually, after many attempts of trying to get her back, one of which was certain until she suddenly put in a relationship with _ _ _ _ _    _ _ _ _  clearly not my name< i was enraged, but a silver lining was on the horizon.

I had met someone attractive, and through not giving up, we eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend. we had a great time together. The same person I cheated on the previous girl had a huge influence on me again, this time I didn't cheat, just listened to the wrong person. GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY MISSED.

Now I fear my past may have hindered my future, especially with girls. However I have changed, I couldn't keep going on like I had. I WANT TO SETTLE DOWN! Well until I go to uni, but if I "love you" it may be different.

PS changed my background so its more like the Ellie Goulding lights cover.