It is honest and from my heart, so sorry to everyone this is another diary entry.
She meant everything to me, and I would have given her the world, I loved her. Fact is she’s the only girl I have completely loved, with no doubts or wandering eyes, oh no wait, I DID. I curse myself everyday for a train journey with a "friend". I should never have done it I had got all gifts and everything ready for her birthday, but I thought one more trip wouldn't do any harm. It ended up hurting someone who I would happily give my life for.
It can be the simplest thing that reminds me of her. For instance this Christmas an I'm a celebrity board game was in the shop, it reminded me of being on the phone to her and us both having to be quiet as our mums were watching it, it would be the best hour of the day, both of us in total bliss because of each others voice.
There is also her identical twin at my school, well not really but they are spitting images, it reminds me of how lucky I was, to have someone not only flawless, but kind too.
The killer is when people ask me are you over her, in my heart of hearts ... no. But at the same time I'm ready to let go.
I have met someone, which makes me feel exactly the same, unfortunately she’s now taken, and I blew my chance. I would let go of the first for her. She can teach me. I just need to win the tally chart.